The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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