this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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