quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
