just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
