On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
