would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
