Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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