He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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