she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
