Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize