I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
