She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
