Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
