You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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