Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i can juggle bunnies
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?