i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
