How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
