There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
