At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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