I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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