i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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