Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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