Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
