Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
