if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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