take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
