I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize