Will you blow on my dice?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
