We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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