(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
