went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
