I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
