Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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