Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
