she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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