i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
two words...techno handjob
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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