She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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