her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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