I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
