i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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