I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
