They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
