I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
