Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
