The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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