where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Im part way to drunk.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
