I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
