she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
