Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
