i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
