That's when you crack a 10am beer
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Congratulations! We have a period
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
