Dual....:-)
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize