I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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