I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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