I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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