I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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