i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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