I wish my penis had an off switch
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You ruined the universe
Randomize
