I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
