he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
